Couples Massages

2 minute read

 

I took my boyfriend to get a couple’s massage.

He pretty much hated the entire experience.

‘The worse experience of my life”

“His mission was to hurt me”

“I’d rather go back to the nail salon again”

 

It was around Valentine’s Day. I had been stressed and wanted to relax and thought it would be a brilliant idea to do something fun with Edwin. He had never had a massage before so I made the suggestion and after a lot of groaning (on his end) we set up an appointment and went for it.

The room was set up really nice and smelled of lavender. There were two massage tables set up side by side with just enough space between them for our masseurs. We undressed and laid down. The masseurs came in and the massage began….

 

2 minutes later I’m laughing instead of relaxing

Edwin is running a full conversation with his masseur. Asking how he came to this field? Why he was interested in it, and what kind of schooling did he do? Where he was from?

I’m over on my table laughing hella hard but trying to be still so I can get my massage. My masseuse asked me ‘Is this his first time?’

Me: “How can you tell?’

Her: “Most people talk to make themselves comfortable the first time”

Edwin overhears this, and then says:

E: “Oh am I talking too much? Sorry, This is weird. I don’t like people touching me.”

M: “Then why did you come babe?”

E: “Cause you said you wanted to go! I said I’d try it so I’m trying it”

We all laugh at him again and tell him that it’s ok. The room goes quiet for a little while.

And then

E: “Uhm. Is there a reason you are putting more pressure on my left side than on my right?”

Folks, I am over on my table losing it.

So long story short. I won’t be taking Edwin to any more massages.

 

 

Readers: Have you ever had a couples massage? What was your experience like?

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