I recently sat and talked with my bf about how I felt ‘friend stagnant’. I love my friends but I want to hang out with new people sometimes. My closest friends are all of the people I was close to in high school, which there is nothing wrong with, but we always tend do the same things. It’s a habit to call up the same list of people whenever you feel like doing something.
As a 23 year old homebody, it is hard to make new friends that are not from work. I also work in an environment in which I hold a place of power over the majority, which makes having genuine friends very difficult.
It just so happens that while shopping in Target, I was approached by another young black woman.
“Excuse me sis, I hate to bother you, but do I know you?”
“Um, I’m not sure. Where do you remember me.”
“Well first off, I absolutely love your hair and second, I’m sure we went to High school (ironically) together. Your name starts with an M, right? You were in theater?”
“Uh yes I was in theater for a year. You are starting to look familiar too but I can’t put my finger on it”
“Girl! My name is Debora! I was always hanging out with ….”
As the conversation went on, I realized that I did know her from high school, but she was a few years older than me. We never really hung out but we had mutual friends. We exchanged numbers and made plans to make plans to meet up soon and have coffee.
But to the point, she inspires me.
Even if she didn’t think she knew me, I still feel like she may have approached me with a basic compliment and continued to have a conversation with me.
I’ve always said that I was outgoing but now I want to be THAT outgoing. I feel like it could be he only way out of the friend stagnant feeling
So to my twenty-somethings:
How do you make new friends?
College and Life After 
I am pretty extroverted so I don’t find issues with this, but often my introverted friends feel nervous around complimenting others or striking up a conversation. And I try to think of “what’s the worst thing that could happen?” If they ignore your compliment or don’t reply to you, the worst that can happen is just that–you’re left the same as you would’ve been if you didn’t say anything at all. The best case is that you get to have a chat! The world is so small, and life is so short. Great insight!
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is a good point too! I have thought ‘what’s the worst that can happen?’ and then I come up with worst case scenarios that are completely not feasible. I guess it’s more about trying to stay on the positive side and not letting that fear of rejection stand in my way. I agree, life is short! Maybe I’ll think of that next time I’m hesitant to say something 🙂 Thank you for commenting
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can relate, I’ve been described as having an outgoing personality but I don’t think so. I would have never approached you…hahah… nice read…
LikeLiked by 1 person